Why?

I learned this week to just not ask.  My great friend, mentor, aunt showed me how unnecessary it is to ask 'why'. 'Why' complicates just about everything. She taught me to 'be', to'accept', to move forward because 'why' didn't matter. Cancer doesn't discriminate. It doesn't care who it hurts, who is effected, or what lives it breaks. So, why ask 'why'?  There is no answer. It just is. And so I'm spending all of what could be my 'why energy' instead as hopeful energy. Not only is this approach healthier for me, but it brings such incredible positive energy to those who are fighting the cancer. Dad, I'm still keeping my promise to you. And when I find my mind wandering, I bring myself back to positive thoughts.

Nicky, you're the best. Thank you for all you have taught me. I am so lucky to have your in my life. I love you.

Medicine Maddness

Migraines Suck!!!!! And from experience, medicines can be a double headed sword.  What is supposed to release muscle tension, relax nerves, heal headaches can often times lead to headaches. And for a migraine person, meds can not only cause headaches, but migraines.  Be careful and read your body.  Unfortunately in my healing I have experienced the good, the bad and the ugly from the medical world.  And a super simple tip - ICE!  Doesn't sound enticing to layer bags of ice on your head, but it WORKS!  Not only numbs the pain, but releases the nerves.....and no meds involved!!  Holistic happiness!

Lemon-aid

Lemon is a fantastic fruit...besides gorgeous in color and tangy in taste, lemons are a natural detox. So, add an extra slice to a glass of water, cup of hot tea, or simply pour hot water over lemon slices and melt in a teaspoon of dark honey....delicious and nutritious!

Sunny Days

I used to live easy,
I was, I did, all
thought-free.

I used to live easy,
I played, I laughed, all
thought-free.

But one day
the sun did not shine.
I could not see,
I could not be,
I could not live.

Tears, tears, tears
Scared, scared, scared
Tears, tears, tears.
Cancer hurts
everyone involved.

And then one day
the sun came out.
I saw a new day
and the lessons I learned in the dark.

Now I live easy
I play, I laugh, all
with thought and awareness
of hope, of health, of love.

Now I live easy
I am, I be, all
with thought and awareness
of hope, of health, of love.

And now I understand what it is to live.

Cancer Sucks

Bottom line - cancer sucks, sucks, sucks.  I share a prayer with anyone suffering any cancer and send a special healthy blessing to those diagnosed with brain cancer and colon cancer.  Dad is my inspiration to 'not think' this weekend.  And Dad, I am keeping my promise, no worrying yet or to come.  Wednesday is going to be a day to courage, strength and conquer for you, Mom and me. And I'm sending these affirmations to Dave too. 

Denver Me-Day

Denver - yes, DENVER....a no-worry, no-thinking, long weekend.  Today, hot tea, reading, relaxing, shopping, and now, a nap.  What a healthy Michelle-day.  I love it....but, can't wait for Jason's work day to end and to share a glass of wine.  Cheers to a me-day....I recommend to all.  Take a me-day, and take it often!

Hope

Definition*
1 : to cherish a desire with anticipation
2 : to desire with expectation of obtainment
3 : to expect with confidence : trust

*Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Day at the Grove, LA

Thanks again Katy - the real star! Katy Regnier Photography

Mad = Happy that is hurting

I Hate, Hate, Hate....and my pillows still seek love and comfort.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.  ~Buddha

Undercover

I wrote this poem for a poetry contest about headaches in 2009. I hoped to share the emotions of sadness and feeling of guilt and loneliness that migraine creates.

Broken.

Scared, scarred

A vision appears in the mirror, a pond, through tears.

The vision resembles me,

my character, my mannerisms, my name.

And I try

to smile, to love, to laugh

I try to be.

Those outside can't hear my scream.

I cry for help - the knives hurt,

stabbing deeper into my head, my neck and puncture my eye.

I try to be.

I smile, I love, I laugh

The knives hurt.

Seconds become infinite.

Pain blankets all concentration and Anxiety begins to join Pain.

The knives hurt.

The knives hurt.

The knives hurt.

I try to be.

My eyes close and the dizziness slows

Tears run down my cheeks.

Tears of sadness, of hurt, messengers crying from the pain within.

Seconds took hours, yet the hours have flown past me.

I open my eyes to darkness, to night,

my eyes close.

The knives slowly break for today.

Now I can lay, I can sleep

Now I can be.

Garden of Greens

No, I am not going to tell you that the best way to be 'green' is to grow all of your produce!  Rather plant a few rosemary and lavender bushes.  SUPER easy to grow - drought tolerant, they'll own their space...and in no time, fresh, organic herbs!  I love to roast veggies with my rosemary and enjoy vases of fresh lavender in the house.

Tea Time

My new favorite michelle time, enjoying a hot cup of Extra Sleepy Time tea by Celestial Seasonings. What's better than a little chamomile, mint and valerian root...ahhhhhh! And how simple is that?

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Perfect for beginner me!!

studio?

I titled my blog 'studio m.r.' because this is my 'studio', my 'art room.'

Ready. Set. Relax.

Relax. Breathe. Relax. Breathe....
Seems simple? Not for me. I tend to stop breathing. So I'm practicing deep, slow, relaxing breathing. I think it's getting easier. Tip: Practice breathing in a hot bath with epson salt and bubbles!

How to start a blog?

I have no idea. Can't be too difficult - seems like just about everyone and anyone has one. But then again, I can't even decipher what most blogs are even about! So, here it goes...please enjoy a cup of hot tea in my Studio.

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color change?